Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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