Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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