I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize