please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
