the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
