So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
