my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
