When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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