should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
