I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
