What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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