At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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