Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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