theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
