No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
