I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
this hospital has no fireball
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
