i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
