now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
