***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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