I could have mohawked her pubes.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
