wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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