Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i barfeds in our rink
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
