so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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