put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
