How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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