Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
