Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
