k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
