you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
