Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
