is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
