Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
