Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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