I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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