You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
