You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize