Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
