i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
