i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
