WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
