Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
