I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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