why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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