I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize