ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
