Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
