Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
