I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There r osticjed everywhere
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
