I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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