Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice

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(870): View more from Arkansas

She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.

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(571): View more from Virginia

next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave

(703): View more from Virginia

and miss being on the news....no way

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(716): View more from New York

i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.

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(432): View more from Texas

Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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(954): View more from Florida

The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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(850): View more from Florida

You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

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(509): View more from Washington

i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.

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(315): View more from New York

I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?

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