Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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