i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
