I heard we made out
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
