you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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