put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
