she woke up with a sticky ear
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
