I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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