So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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