He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
