Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Screwed.edu
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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