real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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