Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
