Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
